Over the years I did visit Drella but having moved interstate, meant that wasn't very often. In fact I only visited my brothers out-of-the-way farm once in the time she was there. It was upsetting seeing her diminished life and I gave her all the attention I could during that visit which she received openly.
It was when my brother rang out of the blue, to tell me that he'd found her dead in the adjoining paddock, that I grieved most deeply for her neglect. Michael said she had maybe died of a heart attack and I felt directly responsible for the cat that once-upon-a-time shared my bed.
So this lesson day, I connected with the Love of Oneness and did my best to feel forgiveness for myself ... but I struggled. I accepted that perhaps I wasn't able to reach forgiveness because my feelings of anguish were too strong. I also realised that my sense of guilt, had held me back from owning another cat. But I said the words anyway...
After a few delicious minutes of cuddles and pats, I had to rejoin my friends who'd stayed back chatting on the path. The friend who lived only a few houses along then said, "I've seen the white one around, but I've never seen the black one before."
That night as I meditated, I checked in with how I now felt in relationship to my cat. Surprisingly, there was a lightness to my heart and I could feel the love we had for one another. This was followed by the realisation of how much I have always loved my cat, only it was disguised beneath sadness, judgement and guilt.
Four days later, I'm sitting on the back deck at home with a friend, telling her the story of the 'miracle cat'....
How I'd put the intention out
to forgive myself
and even though I couldn't,
the Love of Oneness responded,
enabling me to forgive this experience.
And as I told her, suddenly a cat I'd never seen before, appeared out of nowhere jumping up onto the deck and greeting us with enthusiastic cuddles!
Tears filled my eyes and I called out for Tony to join us, because we have been waiting 4 years for a cat to befriend us. At my last home, we'd had Mussam a beautiful, big ginger male who lived two houses down and hung out in our yard purely for all the love and companionship we gave him.
And again today, suddenly we have a very playful, smoochy Persian Prince who is visiting almost every day. He lives right next door and he is an absolute gift of Love and a Miracle of Forgiveness.